'Everybody Loves a Lesbian'

I've done my very best to transcribe the lyrics to this but there's a few lines that I'm not sure I've got right and a few others that I can't fathom at all so if anyone can correct/advise me that'd be super!

CASSANDRA: I think you’d make a really excellent lesbian.

KALI: Oh… right, well, cheers.

CASSANDRA: And think of the benefits. For one, you’d make a lot of new friends!

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

If you’re uncomfortable with coming out,
Just listen to what I says-bian.
Whatever anyone thinks of gays,
Everyone loves a lesbian!

Everybody loves a lesbian honey,
Norton’s passé, Ellen’s funny,
Let those Baptists think what they like,
There’s nothin’ – no nothing – quite like a dyke.

It’s so wrong when you see boys kissin’,
But girl on girl? See what you’re missin’,
Lindsey Lohan never stopped traffic,
‘Til she rode Sam Ronson and came out Sapphic.

Everybody loves a lesbian baby,
You shout yes during sex not maybe.
Camp is cliché, lezzies have class,
You’ll never find us cottagin’ for George Michael’s ass.

So what if our haircuts make us all look the same?
At least we don’t give the Catholic church a bad name,
While gay looks great in a girly frock,
Our ladies look lovely in a strap-on cock!

One more time!

Everybody loves a lesbian baby,
A muff-diving, rough-driving, car-fixing lady,
Come on out, join us in heaven,
We’ll soon be eating brunch off Pam St. Clement!

Woo-hoo!

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

KALI: Hmm… could I be the butch one?

CASSANDRA: If you like.

KALI: Still no.