Seroxat

Seroxat is the brand name in the UK for the drug Paroxetine Hydrochloride. It is a Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SSRI); essentially, an anti-depressant in the same group as Prozac.

It is a powerful drug, one that I have been taking for six years since the age of 17. At the time it was first prescribed to me, there were still uncertainties about its effects, although there was certainly enough known about the dangers of Seroxat for me to now question why they ever prescribed it to a minor in the first place.

Without being specific about what has happened to me, it is now widely known that Seroxat can cause (or significantly increase) suicidal and self-injurious tendencies in its users, particularly adolescents. I would not consider this a desirable effect in an anti-depressant. It has also been widely criticised for the severe symptoms that can accompany withdrawal from the drug. This is the situation which I currently find myself in.

Withdrawal from Seroxat is something that I have chosen to do for two reasons. Firstly, because it no longer has a therapeutic effect (six years on the same drug will do that) and I would like to switch to something that does. Secondly, when the time comes, it will be far easier to completely withdraw from another SSRI than from Seroxat, and I do intend to be drug free at some point in the next few years. I started the withdrawal process at a point in my life where I couldn't have felt stronger or more confident, yet the withdrawal symptomology has been extreme. If I didn't know better I would think that I was becoming severely mentally ill again; despite the fact that I do know better, it's still hard not to think it sometimes. Case in point: I got lost coming home from work on Wednesday. Additionally, the physical effects are akin to having the flu.

The goal date is July 8th. This is the date at which I will have reduced Seroxat enough to be able to start taking Prozac alongside it. I've been told to expect that the Prozac will take at least a month to start having any effect, although anecdotal evidence from friends has indicated that it might be sooner than that. Either way, I think that reaching this milestone will have a positive psychological effect just because I've made it through the other side of a heinous six weeks.

Until then, I'll continue to fall over, get lost in familiar places and tell you the same story six times. It's a good job I have good friends :)

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive
characters are seared with scars.

Kahil Gibran